E4three32: NBA Vs. NCAA Basketball? Everything and More

Recently some donk came in where I bartend and started talking about how much better NCAA basketball is than the NBA. All the while I stood there politely nodding my head and holding back my thoughts on the topic, hoping that by pretending to be interested in what this guy was saying I might be able to get a pretty good tip. But the fact of the matter is…this guy is an idiot, and if you feel the same way this guy does, guess what…you’re an idiot too! Now it wouldn’t be fair to just call you an idiot and that be the end of it, rather I’m going to list the numerous reasons why the NBA is flatout just better than college basketball…

  • They play 3x as many games - I get sick of hearing people saying that college kids try harder. If your wife asks you to lay the wood once a day you’d go all out. Let her ask you to lay it 3x a day and see if you’re pulling out all the usual tricks each time
  • There are way too many white guys in college basketball…at times it almost seems unrealistic to me
  • College basketball never had LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard, or Amare Stoudemire, Kevin Garnett, Tracy McGrady…should I keep going?
  • High school players try pretty hard and want to win…does that mean I should compare them with NBA players?
  • Sit courtside at a college game and then at a NBA game…the speed of the game is like comparing apples to oranges or better yet…women to men
  • It’s a possibility your girlfriend would bang Tyler Hansbrough…it’s a certainty your gilfriend would bang Dwayne Wade
  • There are 347 Division I teams consisting of about 4,200 college basketball players. Only sixty players are drafted into the NBA each year. That means only 1.4% of these kids are even good enough to ever step foot on an NBA floor
  • I’m guessing you still want amatuer players to represent USA in the olympics?
  • Name one NBA player that is so skinny he has to wear a t-shirt under his jersey
  • Name one NBA player with pimples
  • ATHLETICISM, ATHLETICISM, ATHLETICSIM…like Shaq says, Lebron should be a cheat code

Damn…that tip wasn’t worth it.

Until Next time,


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