Archive for November, 2008

Shot Through The Leg And I’m To Blame

I give myself a bad name.

Let me start off by saying I am not making light of a man getting hurt or shot. No, I would never wish that upon anyone nor make fun of it. I’ve spent the past week thinking about Sean Taylor, and how we lost him to an act of violence involving a gun. However, I will make fun of stupidity.

Plaxico Burress has shot himself in the leg. He went clubbing with a gun in his pocket. “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” Now I don’t know about you, but I prefer not to hang out at places where I may need a weapon. I also don’t think I would be comfortable with a loaded weapon inches from my junk! The official word is that Plaxico shot himself in the right thigh. Depending on how I am sitting or standing, my right thigh is in the same zip code as you know what. If I’m gonna throw a gun in my pants pocket, I’m gonna make sure I have visited the gun range a few times. Maybe have the safety on? Of course Plaxico doesn’t practice, and tries to avoid safeties.

Now from here you can make up your own Giants jokes. Their playoff chances are shot. Why do they keep shooting themselves in the foot?

Or, since I brought up junk and guns, make up your own dick jokes. It’s my shower, my soap, and my dick, so I’ll wash it as fast and as long as I want to. I was just cleaning it when it went off in my hand.

Whatever, stupid stuff is funny.

Cheers and Hail!

Remembering Sean

Remembering Sean

I was watching a Skin’s game a couple of weeks ago and I was wearing my Sean Taylor 75th Anniversary Jersey (happens to be my favorite out of my collection). I was enjoying all the stress and excitement of the game when my 4 year old son asked me a question.
“Daddy, who’s jersey is this?”
“This is Sean Taylor’s jersey,” I replied.
My son then walked up to the TV and stood in front of it, his nose only inches from the screen. He stared intently at the TV for a few seconds as I asked him as politely as I can (while watching a Skin’s game) to please move out of the way.
“But Daddy, which one of those guys is Sean Taylor?”
After stumbling around for a couple seconds I came up with,
“Sean’s not playing today.”
Wow, how could I answer that? It’s a life and death question that he is not ready for, and quite frankly, maybe I’m not either. But that simple answer is not enough.

I remember so many things about Sean. I remember how excited I was that they picked him over Kellen Winslow. Excited, because I felt Taylor was a once in every ten years type of difference maker. An added bonus to this scenario brought my favorite player to the Redskins in the 3rd round.
I remember how he intercepted a pass and returned it for a TD in his very first pre-season game. It was the Hall of Fame game against the Broncos, and Joe Gibbs’s first game back.
I remember how his teammates nicknamed him “Meast”, because he was part man-part beast.
I remember how he may have been the best running back at the University of Miami, but he played Safety. Frank Gore, Willis Mcgahee, and Clinton Portis were the teams RB’s.
I remember how he scored a TD in the Eagles game in 2005 to clinch a playoff birth, then scored another TD in the Bucs game to seal a playoff victory.
I remember how Receivers feared going across the middle against him. No, they feared him wherever they were on the field.
I remember hearing that he got shot, and that he was clinging to life. It seemed so surreal.
I remember thinking he was so strong, he was going to pull through, but I guess God had a better plan for him.
I remember the media reporting bogus reports, implying that this was somehow Sean’s fault, some sort of retaliation for something Sean did.
I remember for a split second thinking what the media reported.
I remember the media not recanting their bogus stories. I myself am sorry for my momentary lapse in thought.
I remember thinking how there was no way the Skins would lose the following week against the Bills. They did, but then rallied as a team to make the playoffs.
I remember learning just who Sean was. The person, the teammate, the friend, companion, and father.

I remember it all, and I will continue to remember.

And some day, when my son and I are ready, I’m going to tell him all about Sean Taylor.

A Redskins Win Would Be A Giant Step

Look, It’s Billy Bob Thornton Part III

Paul Rudd

One of these guys is a pretty good football player, the other is the QB for the Cowboys. They do have 1 thing in common, they each have the same amount of playoff wins.

New Road Sign For Cooperstown

Is Mike Mussina a Hall of Famer? That seems to be a popular question this week with the announcement of Mussina’s retirement. Well, my answer to that is a resounding YES!
Full disclosure, Mike Mussina is my favorite pitcher of all-time. Even after he left the O’s to play for the “evil empire”, I still found myself pulling for Moose. Mike debuted in late 1991 and was a full blown star by 1992. I was pitching in college during this time. My motion and mannerisms were patterned exactly after Moose. In my mind, I looked exactly like him. Some 15 years later, I was still imitating his pitching motion while I played in a fantasy camp, my real baseball career long over. Moose, on the other hand was still busy winning 15 games or more a year for the Yankees.

Mussina won 20 games last year for the first time in his career. He was certainly cheated of a couple more 20 win seasons. Strike shortened seasons, blown saves, and pop-ups that found there way into the left field seats at Camden Yards. Mike pitched for 18 seasons in the AL East. 18 seasons with a DH. At least 10 seasons dominated by steroids and another 10 at Camden Yards. Moose could easily hang around a couple more seasons and get to 300 wins, which is an immediate ticket into Cooperstown. But, he’s walking away. He could chase the 300 wins and probably make 25 million doing so. He could also chase that ring that I wish he had, but he’s walking away on top, and on his own terms. I admire that.

So, we have to judge the numbers that are in the book. I’ve looked at them, I’ve lived them, and they work for me. Enjoy your retirement Moose, you will be missed.