Posted by fatpickle Date: Monday, November 2, 2009
Categories: Look it's Billy Bob Thornton!
Tags: yankees
I Donât Like The Yankees So Much
If you google “reasons to hate the Yankees,” over 4.5 million results show up. I donât have that many reasons to hate them, but as a lifelong Orioles fan…there are a few things about the Yankees that burn my ass!
#1 $200 Million payroll:
OK, we all know they spend more $$ than everyone else…big deal. $134 million more than the Oâs. Iâd take the Oâs young and inexpensive talent over the Yankees old and declining roster any day!
#2 They win all the time:
This is a false statement. Mike Mussina pitched in New York the past 8 years, he has the same amount of World Series rings as I do. They had a dynasty from 96-2000. For the 25 years sandwiching that era…C*&K.
#3 The Fans
First of all, they all look like this guy.
Yankee fans donât like each other, let alone any other teams fans. They invade Camden Yards when the Yanks come to Baltimore. Yelling for Deerrrricckkk Jettterrr and Mariiiiianno Riiiverra. My favorite Yankees fans? The Japanese Matsui fans that donât speak English.
Look, you can go to almost any bar or store anywhere in America and see a Yankee hat or jersey. Itâs no big deal. There may be 2 guys in said bar or store with Yankee hats and they wonât even acknowledge each other, because itâs common place. But if your wearing an Oâs hat in Tampa, and another guy walks in the bar wearing the same hat…thatâs a kinship. You have a bond.
#2 Jeffrey Maier
Letâs face it Oâs fans, baseball is full of curses…we have the Jeffrey Maier curse. Little prick.
#1 They score hot chicks
Why wouldnât they? They all have $100 million dollar contracts. Whether itâs Jeter banging Minka Kelly…or for that matter nearly every girl from my Sweet 16 Hot Chick contest, or A-Rod tapping Kate Hudson and Madonna (it would have been more impressive for Craig Nettles to bang out Madonna, she was hotter back then.) But wait, it doesnât stop there, Jorge Posada (operation Dumbo drop) has a hot wife, CC Sabathia (weighs 330) is doing well for himself, and AJ Burnettâs wife is smokin! Iâm sure it doesnât stop there, hell…I bet Craig Nettles wife is still hot.
Karen Burnett (Maryland girl)
And for the record, if you google “reasons to hate the Orioles,” you only get 190,000 results. We win.
Cheers and Hail
Lazy JC “Smithers, are they booing me?”
(Smithersâ response: “No sir, theyâre saying Boo-urns, Boo-urns.”)
Keeping in theme with todayâs movie-quote post, I canât help but comment on the frequency of TV generated quotes that run through my head, in reaction to most everyday occurrences. One happened just Monday, as I sat at home, enjoying my spring break, watching the Oâs host the Yankees on Opening Day.
Orioles fans, finally with some hopes of backing a respectable team (the starting pitching is not good, but theyâre going to be a fun team to watch), made a conscious effort to taunt, jeer, and boo Yankee first baseman Mark Teixeira at every opportunity. When he was announced during pre-game festivities, during his at-bats (not just at his announcement, but during the ENTIRE at-bat), and even whenever he handled the ball at first base. Now, for a lot of Yankees, this is nothing new. Derek Jeter gets heckled mercilessly at ballparks around the country. A-Roid will have to play with earplugs this year. Itâs common, and, usually, expected. Now, why had the Baltimore fans singled out Teixeira, as I assume theyâll continue to do all season? Easy, the Orioles offered the Severna Park, Md. native $140 this past offseason to man first base near to his childhood home. Of course, shortly after, the Yankees swooped in and offered $180 million. Teixeira, like any of us, took the money and donned the pinstripes.
Should he be faulted for turning his back on the team he watched play as a kid?
Should he be faulted for turning his back on the team he watched play as a kid?
No, heâs admitted many times that, while an Oâs fan, his favorite player was Don Mattingly. How can you blame a guy for following in the footsteps of their hero? Fox Sports writer Ken Rosenthal and ESPN Radio blowhard Colin Cowherd have made thier opinions on this matter known, blasting the Baltimore fans for being classless, and clueless, like they ever really had a chance to land Tex in the first place.
Granted, itâs thier job to stir-up controversey and fan interest, theyâve got to attract readers and listeners somehow. Still, itâs times like these that make want to drive my car off a cliff when I listen, keeping in mind how much theyâre being paid to blabber on about such stupid and meaningless things. Newsflash: Mark Teixeira will get booed in most American League parks simply because heâs a Yankee. While a lot of folks canât remember the time there was a Baltimore-New York rivalry, is it even unexpected for a Yankee to be dealt with hostilely in Camden Yards? You think the reaction will be much different in Fenway? Are the Oâs fans bitter? Sure they are. So what? My only regret is, that unlike the Simpsonsâ episode it reminded me of, the fans didnât pelt Teixeira with soft pretzels, the way the fans of the Sringfield Isotopes did to Mr. Burns. Tex has $180 million reasons to be completely unaffected by the boos, maybe he can lend a few to the national sports media to give it a rest.
Granted, itâs thier job to stir-up controversey and fan interest, theyâve got to attract readers and listeners somehow. Still, itâs times like these that make want to drive my car off a cliff when I listen, keeping in mind how much theyâre being paid to blabber on about such stupid and meaningless things. Newsflash: Mark Teixeira will get booed in most American League parks simply because heâs a Yankee. While a lot of folks canât remember the time there was a Baltimore-New York rivalry, is it even unexpected for a Yankee to be dealt with hostilely in Camden Yards? You think the reaction will be much different in Fenway? Are the Oâs fans bitter? Sure they are. So what? My only regret is, that unlike the Simpsonsâ episode it reminded me of, the fans didnât pelt Teixeira with soft pretzels, the way the fans of the Sringfield Isotopes did to Mr. Burns. Tex has $180 million reasons to be completely unaffected by the boos, maybe he can lend a few to the national sports media to give it a rest.
A Rod REALLY Likes Himself
WTF???Now I know when you do a photo shoot, the photographer asks you to loosen and up and “strike a pose,” (Madonna pun intended.) Apparently after a couple shots of Patron, Alex likes to make a “booty call” to himself.
Alex: “ooohh, you look so sexy”
Alex: “come here here my big ball of testosterone Latin love”
These pictures were taken for an article in Details magazine. After the interview and photo shoot, Alex called back the author of the story to plead with him not to release Alexâs favorite Madonna song in the article. A-Fraud feared the backlash of hearing the song played at opposing stadiums. I think heâs already given Red Sox and Oâs fans enough ammunition (a couple of blow up dolls with #13 Yankee jerseys would be a good start.)
Well, heâs got a couple of months to be alone with himself as he recovers from the surgery to remove the cyst on his hip. Donât cyst form where needles are repeatedly are used?
Cheers and Hail
Six Degrees Of Fatpickled…Christmas Edition
From the Evil Empire, a cool story about the last at-bat at Yankee Stadium. (turns out it wasnât Brian Roberts)
A Baltimore Sun columnists insist itâs a good thing Teixeira signed with the Evil Empire. (I was clearly wrong with my Teixeira to Oâs theory)
Merry Christmas!
Posted by fatpickle Date: Thursday, December 25, 2008
Categories: 6 Degrees, Fatpickled
Tags: 6 degrees, O's, washington redskins, yankees, zorn
