Posts Tagged ‘bruce allen’

Are The Redskins Re-Building? I’m 82% Sure They Are…Thanks To Vinny

This sh*t sandwich Vinny gave me has left a bad taste in my mouth!

Mike Shanahan was introduced as the Head Coach of the Washington Redskins on January 6th 2010, just 3 days after the Redskins finished a 4-12 season under Jim Zorn and 20 days after the hiring of Bruce Allen. The 2009 Redskins had 62 players appear in games during that season, a roster that was compiled by former Executive Vice President of Football Operations Vinny Cerrato. A little over 2 short years later, just 11 Redskins remain from the Zorn/Cerrato era. The won-loss record hasn’t changed much but the names on the backs of the jerseys sure have. An amazing 82% of those players are gone.

I guess a good way to describe the roster inherited by Allen and Shanny would be to say “there wasn’t a lot of meat left on the bone.” Of the 46 players that were cut, traded or not re-signed, 26 have yet to play another down in the NFL. Another 12 have barely played or played ineffectively and 2 guys have played at a Pro Bowl level. Here’s a look at all 62 players from 2009.

Still on active roster (11, 18%):

Lorenzo Alexander
Kevin Barnes
Chris Cooley
Fred Davis
Reed Doughty
Graham Gano
DeAngelo Hall
Rob Jackson
Will Montgomery
Santana Moss
Brian Orakpo

Current Free Agents (5, 8%):

London Fletcher
Kedric Golston
Rob Jackson
Rocky McIntosh
Byron Westbrook

To be determined (2, 3%):

Laron Landry
Mike Sellers (probably done)

Guys who have yet or may never play a down with another team (26, 42%):

HB Blades
Phillip Daniels
Cornelius Griffin
Robert Henson
Lendy Holmes
Chris Horton
Jeremy Jarmon
Levi Jones
Malcolm Kelly
Marcus Mason
Marko Mitchell
Anthony Montgomery
Kareem Moore
Glenn Pakulak
Sam Paulescu
Clinton Portis
Casey Rabach
William Robinson
Chris Samuels *retired
Hunter Smith
Fred Smoot
Randy Thomas
Mike Williams
Chris Wilson
Renaldo Wynn
Todd Yoder

Players who’ve barely played or played ineffectively (12, 19%):

Ethan Albright
D’Anthony Batiste
Ladell Betts
Todd Collins
Derrick Dockery
Quinton Ganther
Albert Haynesworth
Stephon Heyer
Antwann Randle El
Devin Thomas
Justin Tryon
Edwin Williams

Players who’ve played ok (4, 7%):

Jason Campbell
Rock Cartwright
Chad Rinehart
Shaun Suisham

Players who’ve played at a Pro Bowl level (2, 3%):

Andre Carter
Carlos Rogers

So, by my math it’s safe to say that Shanahan was handed a roster that consisted of over 50% of players that weren’t NFL caliber players. Obviously, the Redskins were in need of rebuilding, whether Shanny wanted to call it that or not. With only 18% of the players left from the Cerrato era, I have to say that the re-build is almost complete. All that’s missing now is Robert Griffin III and some W’s!

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Categories: Redskins

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Redskins: Mid-Season Report Cards

We are at the half-way point of the Redskins 2010 season which happens to coincide with the bye week, so it’s an excellent time to hand out first half report cards. This will be a multi-part series, today we focus on the front office and coaching.

Front Office – D

Positives: Drafting Trent Williams and the free agent signings of Ryan Torain, Brandon Banks and Keiland Williams.

Negatives: Besides Williams the rest of the draft sucked. Free agent signings Josh Bidwell and Joey Galloway equally sucked. The Jammal Brown trade looks like a bad deal. Oh, let’s not forget about Larry Johnson and Willie Parker.

Comments: I still can’t believe the 3 guys listed under positives were players the front office cut in the last month. On a positive note, Bruce Allen has done an excellent job repairing the organization’s relationship with previous players…unfortunately that has no impact on winning games. For the moment I’m going to leave the Donovan McNabb trade alone, although that deal may turn out to be bad as well.

Coaching – D

Positives: The team has matched it’s win total from last year. The Redskins also have 4 conference wins and are 2-0 against the NFC East.

Negatives: The defense changed it’s scheme and went from a top 10 defense to nearly last in the NFL. The offense is mediocre and not much better than last years version. The head coach appears to hold serious grudges against players (McNabb, D. Thomas, Haynesworth and Dockery) which may affect the Redskins having the best players on the field.

Comments: Mike Shanahan’s handling of Albert Haynesworth was terrible. His decision to bench McNabb was unbelievably terrible. Why isn’t Dockery playing? Why was Devin Thomas not given a chance? Why is Joey Galloway on the team? Why am I yelling at my computer?

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Categories: Redskins

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24 Hours At The Danny’s

Comedian and blog friend Danny Rouhier contributed to this post. Check him out at

picture via Hogs Haven

There is one sure fire way to know if Jerry Gray officially interviewed to be the head coach of the Redskins…did he spend the night at Dan Snyder’s mansion? Seriously, WTF is up with the sleepover interviews at the Danny’s? What other job in the world do you not only wear a suit to the interview but you also bring your pajamas? I’m not making this up…it’s well documented.

So this has to make one wonder…what goes on in that 24 hour period at Danny’s house? Luckily, I was a fly on the wall during the Shanahan interview and I’m here to report my findings. Here’s a timeline breakdown of what went down.

5pm-6pm The Interview

What interview? Shanahan was hired months ago. So…Dan, Shanny and the man Shanny HIRED…Bruce Allen, spend this time playing the hand slap game, paper/rock/scissors and Call of Duty.

6pm-7pm Dinner

The boys have worked up quite the hunger from all the games so Dan and Shanny dispatch Bruce to get some Johnnie Rockets burgers.

7pm-9pm Film Breakdown

It’s time to start evaluating talent, so Bruce, Dan and Shanny sit down to watch highlights of last years Golden Globes and Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year. Bruce and Shanny butt heads over the use of Ryan Seacrest, Bruce wants more while Shanny wants less. Dan tells Bruce that Shanny has final say…Seacrest OUT!

10pm-11pm Special Guests

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes stop by for a visit. Bruce was a big fan of Dawson’s Creek, so Katie entertains him by acting out old scenes. Tom, Dan and Shanny retreat to the basement for some clay table processing. Kenny Loggins stops by just to sing “Highway to the Danger Zone” for effect.

12am-1am Racquetball

Needing a 4th for a mini round robin tournament, Dan calls “consultant” Vinny Cerrato over to play. So…Vinny walks over to the main house from his apartment over Dan’s garage. Before match play begins Vinny dispenses the one and only piece of valuable “consulting” information he has learned in 10 years on the job…let the boss win.

1am-2am Massage

After calling several classified adds in the City Paper Bruce finds a couple of nice medical students (a blonde and an Italian) to come over and give Dan and Shanny well deserved massages. Bruce advises them to ask for the full service.

2am-4am Bonding

Bruce and Vinny have retreated to the garage apartment and it’s time for the new BFF’s to bond. Shanny originally wanted to go to bed but Dan reminded him that Gibbs worked till 4am. Shanny was pissed so he tea-bagged Danny’s drum set…but the spat was over quickly and the 2 bonded by playing truth or dare, ran a sack race and built a pillow fort. Dan also helped Shanny set up his FaceBook profile. Another spat ended the night when Dan overruled Shanahan again…Dan always gets the top bunk.

4am-8am Sleep/Brainwashing

Shanahan tossed and turned with a case of the Johnny Rockets farts. Dan spent this time brainwashing Shanny into never reading page 14 of his contract (aka the Lavar page,) and always falling in love with every “sexy” pick the Danny likes. He also convinced Shanahan to think he has “total control” even though he never really will.

8am-9am Golf Cart Ride

Bright and early Dan took Shanny on a golf cart ride around the estate. Shanny tried to explain football terminology to Dan but spent 30 minutes going over “trips” and “traps.” Dan drove down to the river to say hello to Bruce and Vinny who were busy cutting down nuisance trees.

9am-11am Cartoons!

Another fight …over the remote control this time. Danny likes old school “Tom & Jerry” and “Thundercats,” while Shanny is more of a “Phineas and Ferb” guy.

11am-12pm Extreme Makeover

Dan’s stylist comes in to hook Shanny up for his big press conference. This process involves only one thing…which of these 1,000 burgundy and gold ties would you like to wear Mr. Shanahan?

12pm-2pm The New Digs

Helicopter ride over to Ashburn where Shanny settles into his new office. The office looks more like a prison wall from where Zorn has been counting down the days using hash marks. Jerry Gray had been “squatting” in the office for several days. While being removed he was heard muttering “they said they would get back to me.”

2pm Ladies & Gentlemen…You’re New Coach

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Categories: Redskins

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