It was the Spring of 1994 and I was in a tough spot with my girlfriend. I’m not sure if it was my fault or just life that had our relationship at this tipping point but I knew that I needed to express how much I loved this girl. So, I set out to show her like a broke 20 year old college student who doesn’t know any better should.
I started by decorating my room with the words from the Alan Jackson song ‘Wanted’. Next, I bought a 5 carat cubic zirconium tennis bracelet…yep CZ’s that’s how I rolled. As if this scene that was playing out in my parent’s basement couldn’t get any cheesier, I decided I needed one additional prop. I went to a local pet shop and spent the last $30 I had on a black kitten that at the time was just 1 of a million black kittens in the world. The tennis bracelet was placed on the kitten’s neck and I hoped for the best…I ended up getting lucky that night and I’m lucky enough to wake up beside that girl everyday of my life. The kitten was named Muffin and little did I know he would be a part of our lives for nearly 20 years. To say that Muffin was a family pet would be an injustice…he was a dear friend and the greatest wing-man I ever had.
Muffin was with us when we moved into our first apartment together and when we bought our first house. I would walk in the front door after work and call out his name in a high-pitched, drawn out voice…”mmuuufffffffiiiiiiiiinnnn.” He would come running to me only to fall over just a few feet short…rolling on his back and purring in happiness. We had games that we played, one was a petting game. Muffin would head butt my balled up fist in a loving manner with such force that it sounded like 2 football helmets crashing…he would be purring and so happy. The next step to the game was when I would rub my hand down the rest of his body and when I got to his tail he would spin around and hiss at me and bite me. He would then turn around, purr, head butt my fist again…I would pet his tail again, he’d spin around and hiss at me and bite me again and we’d repeat this cycle until one of us lost interest.
Muffin loved paper balls…the sound of a piece of paper being waded up into a ball was heaven to Muffin. He would show up out of nowhere to chase, fetch and bat the ball all over the house. Muffin loved “sun puddles”… all he needed was a ray of sunshine shining thru a window and he was napping in ecstasy.
Muffin was with us when we decided to move to Florida. By this time we had added another 2 cats to our family…Muffin was not so happy about this and neither was I. We drove 15 hours in the car only stopping for kitty breaks. 48 hours after arriving in Florida we were amazed to find out that we were expecting a child. As it turned out, Florida turned to be the perfect retirement destination for Muffin.
Muffin loved Florida, the warm climate was good for his bones and he had all the sun puddles he could handle. But, time is nobody’s friend and the years finally caught up. I eventually stopped yelling his name when I got home because he could no longer hear my voice. He would still curl up and purr beside a paper ball but no longer had the energy to do anything else with it. He’d still head but my hand but didn’t hiss and bite me when I pissed him off by petting his butt. He loved though…he still loved us with all he had left.
I was alone with Muffin today when he passed…the two of us together just like we were in that pet store in 1994. As I was petting him during his last breaths I realized that I got all I ever “wanted” back in my parent’s basement. I replaced the cubic zirconium with a certified diamond and married my soul mate. We have a beautiful son and live less that a mile from the beach…the place we always wanted be. It’s been a long and winding journey and Muffin was there for most of it. He wasn’t 1 of a million kittens, he was 1 in a million. Thanks for being part of the ride my friend…I hope kitty heaven is full of paper balls and sun puddles. Goodbye “mmuuufffffiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn.”
Mike Shanahan discussing Brandon Banks earlier in the season:
He’s a guy that’s a playmaker, and he’s proved that since he’s been here. We’re going to find ways to get him the football.”
Well, you’ve tried Shanny and it’s failed…however, it’s not for a lack of trying. The Shanny’s have force fed the ball to Banks with terrible results. This experiment has failed worse than a TE reverse and almost as bad as Shanny hitching his reputation to Rex Grossman and John Beck.
Here’s how bad Banks has been:
In the Redskins last 5 games Banks has 4 rushes for 7 yards and 5 receptions for negative 4 yards. That’s 9 offensive touches and a total of 3 yards. Jamie Mottram could do better.
Banks has zero kick returns in 40% of the Redskins games this season…so the 1 thing he does well is pretty much non-existent do to the new rules.
Banks punt return stats in 40% of this season’s games: negative 3 yards, negative 1 yard, negative 4 yards and 1 yard. Again, the one thing he does well has been neutralized. Kevin Ewoldt can do better.
Banks has 1 TD in 231 career touches, I’m pretty sure I can score a TD with 231 touches.
Banks hasn’t scored a regular season TD since October of 2010.
Banks has 20 career offensive touches totaling 70 yards and ZERO TD’s. 3.5 yards per touch.
Banks seems to fumble out of bounds at the end of every play.
It’s time to move on from the “Speedy” Banks era. Give Niles Paul a chance to return kick-offs and put Santana Moss back on punt returns. Let Ewoldt, Mottram or Paulsen take the offensive reps, we can’t do any worse.
I’ m begging you Wooden Teeth, please take all of the Banks plays out of the playbook. While you’re at it take the TE reverse and option plays out of there…use them all as kindling. Maybe throw the ball downfield again, great things seem to happen when you do.
Not sure the Octoberfest is going to make it to you buddy...
Chris Cooley has re-signed with the Washington Redskins, answering the prayers of thousands of fans and making Chris happy as well. While Chris had the chance to sign with several other NFL teams (yes, that’s a fact) he stayed loyal to the only team he’s ever and probably will ever play for. Something virtually unheard of in this day in age. However, the Redskins failed to award Cooley with a signing bonus on the veteran’s minimum contract he signed. What bonus was Chris seeking?
“Literally, I have text correspondence trying to negotiate a case of beer into my contract. They wouldn’t do it. I wanted it in writing so much.”
So if the Redskins won’t do it, why don’t the fans? Chris Cooley wants a case of beer, if you’re over 21 you can buy a case of beer. They have people that will deliver this beer to Redskins Park. What better way is there to welcome back your favorite player than to send him a case of beer? What better way is there to thank one of the greatest players in Redskins history for remaining loyal is there than to send him a case of beer? It’s what he wants and he likes beer…make him happy Redskins Nation.
I would love to see Redskins Park full of FedEx trucks, UPS trucks and Beer trucks dropping off cases of beer. Let’s start a movement here. #sendcooleybeer
You can mail the beer to
Washington Redskins
c/o Chris Cooley
21300 Redskin Park Dr.
Ashburn, VA 20147-6100
First, I’ll state the obvious. Robert Griffin III is a complete bad-ass. Forget about him being a rookie, he’s in the argument for who’s best player in the NFL.
Jason Pierre-Paul warned RG3 not to “bring it to my side.” Well, RG3 did…and I think an equipment guy had to pick up JPP’s jock.
The Redskins first drive of the game was 17 plays and 93 yards. The drive resulted in a FG which was a let down, but wow! The 2nd drive was 8 plays for 80 yards and a TD. This offense is for real.
Alfred Morris. He’s come out of nowhere to be a Pro Bowl caliber running back. When Larry Brown is comparing himself to Albert and Joe Theismann is comparing ALF to John Riggins…we got something here.
The Redskins punted 1 time, I repeat the Redskins punted 1 time!
I can only assume that London Fletcher is hurt. He had 20+ tackles a couple weeks ago but looked…dare I say old…today.
People love to hate on Reed Doughty. Sure he’s a liability in coverage but I still love the guy. He came back from a strained knee (doubtful to return per the Redskins) and made some big tackles.
Santana Moss with 2 big plays showing that he’s still a weapon. Santana Moss with a bad fumble, showing that he still knows how to do that too.
Josh Wilson had trouble with Victor Cruz all day. If Eli Manning hadn’t decided to throw like Nuke Laloosh when throwing to a wide open Cruz, Cruz may’ve had 3TD’s and 200+ yards easily. That being said…wtf was Madieu Williams doing on the 77 yarder?
Hate to see Fred Davis lost for the season. With the exception of Pierre Garcon, (what’s his deal) Davis is the Redskins best receiving threat. Davis was good for 15+ yards every time he touched the ball. In related news, 90% chance Fred Davis is getting high right now.
Logan Paulsen, I see you…stay hungry my friend.
How does a team rush for 248 yards and lose the game? Oh yeah, turnovers.
Game on the line, late in the 4th quarter and a huge 3rd down…we dial up an option play to Niles Paul? Are you kidding me with this?
Christopher K Cooley, back away from the kiln.
Here’s what matters most, playing front yard football with my 7 year old while imitating RG3…
A year ago today the Redskins lost to the Eagles 20-13 in a game that featured 4 Rex Grossman interceptions. Grossman’s performance prompted fans and the media to spark a quarterback controversy…was it time to bench Rex for John Beck? Yes folks, a year ago today we were debating which of these horrible quarterbacks should be our starting quarterback. Either way we were going to lose, pick your poison.
I think I nailed the debate in this post that I wrote last October entitled “Becked If We Do, Becked If We Don‘t.” I even foreshadowed a 5 win season and asked for Andrew Luck. I’ve never had much luck, which fortunately for Redskins fans resulted in Robert Griffin III. And while the Redskins have the same 3-3 record as this time last year, a lot has changed since the John Beck era.
The Redskins actually led the Vikings by 19 points last Sunday. A 19 point lead…I didn’t know how to act! Of course they’re still the Redskins so they nearly lost the lead and I had to bite my nails until the end. The Redskins had never had a lead that large under Mike Shanahan. In fact, the Skins had failed to score more than 19 points in 17 out of 32 games under Shanny.
RGIII ran for 138 yards and 2 TD’s against the Vikings. Last year, our “wonder twins” (activate, form of a sucky QB) combined to rush for 54 yards…for the season. Yes, instead of arguing over which QB sucks less, Redskins fans can now argue about our QB being the best player in the league. Amazing.
And while I’m not ready to think that this team is ready to contend for a playoff spot, I’m incredibly excited about the Skins future. I’m happy to know that I’m not even a year into a decade of having a franchise QB. That being said, the Skins could be a playoff team this season if the defense gets straightened out. After saying for 3 seasons that the Redskins could be a playoff team if they could just score 20 points a game…now we score 30 and have trouble winning. Thanks Haslett.
At the end of the Redskins 31-28 loss to the Rams today, Danny Smith was in Mike Shanahan’s ear and convinced him to kick a 62 yard field goal instead of going for it on fourth down. Shanny chose to roll the dice on an impossible kick by a journeyman kicker instead of keeping the ball in the hands of his franchise QB whom the Redskins have mortgaged their entire future on…here’s the way I imagined the conversation going:
Danny “I know we’ve had some issues in punt protection but I think “Billy the Kid” can make it from here.”
Shanny “KICK THE FIELD GOAL!”
Danny “Oh shit, I didn’t know it was a 62 yarder?!”
