Handing Out Christmas Gifts To The Redskins
Fatpickle has a bag full of gifts for the Redskins, let’s see who’s been naughty or nice.
Dan Snyder – 5inches. It’s the only thing I can figure to give to a man who has it all. He can use it to be taller or use it in his pants…either way I’m guessing he can use it.
Mike Shanahan – 3 Airbrush Tans from Tandulgence in Ashburn, VA. We gotta have Shanny looking his best for the playoffs.
Robert Griffin III – The world’s largest trophy case, he’s going to need it to hold all the hardware he’s going to collect in his career.
Alfred Morris – A new car, hit me up ALF…I’m in the business and know people.
Santana Moss – 15 more snaps a game, he’s still getting the job done and deserves them.
Leonard Hankerson – stick-em…please share this gift with Niles Paul.
Logan Paulsen – a razor, a bar of soap, a gift certificate to Great Clips and a sandwich…you know, stocking stuffers.
Chris Cooley – a home playoff game.
Trent Williams – a toke. He’s been awesome this year and I know he loves it…just don’t get caught.
London Fletcher – 5 minutes alone with the Cleveland Brown’s Security Department.
Brian Orakpo – Arnold Schwarzenegger’s pecs (when Arnold was in his prime).
DeAngelo Hall – the ability to play well the rest of the year…and a suitcase for after. (I hid Brandon Banks in the suitcase)
Lorenzo Alexander – A trip to the Pro Bowl, it’s well deserved.
Barry Cofield – more sacks…this is really a gift for me cuz I love the taser sack dance so much.
Sav Rocca – Another shrimp off the Barbie and a good Australian beer, apparently Australians think Fosters is piss water.
Kai Forbath – a shoe that fits, not to be worn until after the Super Bowl of course.
Merry Christmas to all. Cheers and Hail