Handing Out Christmas Gifts To The Redskins

Photo via Burgundy Blog

Fatpickle has a bag full of gifts for the Redskins, let’s see who’s been naughty or nice.

Dan Snyder - 5inches. It’s the only thing I can figure to give to a man who has it all. He can use it to be taller or use it in his pants…either way I’m guessing he can use it.

Mike Shanahan - 3 Airbrush Tans from Tandulgence in Ashburn, VA. We gotta have Shanny looking his best for the playoffs.

Robert Griffin III - The world’s largest trophy case, he’s going to need it to hold all the hardware he’s going to collect in his career.

Alfred Morris - A new car, hit me up ALF…I’m in the business and know people.

Santana Moss - 15 more snaps a game, he’s still getting the job done and deserves them.

Leonard Hankerson - stick-em…please share this gift with Niles Paul.

Logan Paulsen - a razor, a bar of soap, a gift certificate to Great Clips and a sandwich…you know, stocking stuffers.

Chris Cooley - a home playoff game.

Trent Williams - a toke. He’s been awesome this year and I know he loves it…just don’t get caught.

London Fletcher - 5 minutes alone with the Cleveland Brown’s Security Department.

Brian Orakpo - Arnold Schwarzenegger’s pecs (when Arnold was in his prime).

DeAngelo Hall - the ability to play well the rest of the year…and a suitcase for after. (I hid Brandon Banks in the suitcase)

Lorenzo Alexander - A trip to the Pro Bowl, it’s well deserved.

Barry Cofield - more sacks…this is really a gift for me cuz I love the taser sack dance so much.

Sav Rocca - Another shrimp off the Barbie and a good Australian beer, apparently Australians think Fosters is piss water.

Kai Forbath - a shoe that fits, not to be worn until after the Super Bowl of course.

Merry Christmas to all. Cheers and Hail

Share and Enjoy:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • MySpace
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Print
  • PDF
  • RSS