Handing Out Christmas Gifts To The Redskins

Photo via Burgundy Blog

Fatpickle has a bag full of gifts for the Redskins, let’s see who’s been naughty or nice.

Dan Snyder – 5inches. It’s the only thing I can figure to give to a man who has it all. He can use it to be taller or use it in his pants…either way I’m guessing he can use it.

Mike Shanahan – 3 Airbrush Tans from Tandulgence in Ashburn, VA. We gotta have Shanny looking his best for the playoffs.

Robert Griffin III – The world’s largest trophy case, he’s going to need it to hold all the hardware he’s going to collect in his career.

Alfred Morris – A new car, hit me up ALF…I’m in the business and know people.

Santana Moss – 15 more snaps a game, he’s still getting the job done and deserves them.

Leonard Hankersonstick-em…please share this gift with Niles Paul.

Logan Paulsen – a razor, a bar of soap, a gift certificate to Great Clips and a sandwich…you know, stocking stuffers.

Chris Cooley – a home playoff game.

Trent Williams – a toke. He’s been awesome this year and I know he loves it…just don’t get caught.

London Fletcher – 5 minutes alone with the Cleveland Brown’s Security Department.

Brian Orakpo – Arnold Schwarzenegger’s pecs (when Arnold was in his prime).

DeAngelo Hall – the ability to play well the rest of the year…and a suitcase for after. (I hid Brandon Banks in the suitcase)

Lorenzo Alexander – A trip to the Pro Bowl, it’s well deserved.

Barry Cofield – more sacks…this is really a gift for me cuz I love the taser sack dance so much.

Sav Rocca – Another shrimp off the Barbie and a good Australian beer, apparently Australians think Fosters is piss water.

Kai Forbatha shoe that fits, not to be worn until after the Super Bowl of course.

Merry Christmas to all. Cheers and Hail

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