This Is Kind Of Cooley

The Chris Cooley Interview

During the Redskins bye week I flew up to my old stomping grounds in Northern VA. Over a couple of beers at the Ashburn Pub, I interviewed Chris Cooley. OK… the interview didn’t exactly go down that way, Chris answered my questions thru a series of emails. The beer will come at a later date when I show Chris and Tanner who the real king of bar Olympics is. Here is my exclusive with CC.
FP: They’re filming a major motion picture “The Chris Cooley Story”, which actors play these roles?
CC: Chris- I was Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds for Halloween, so probably that guy.
Tanner- Probably have to say….Omar Epps
Christy- We would make Jessica Alba dye her hair and she could play Christy
Zorn- Steve Largent
Dan Snyder- Tom Cruise

FP: Who would you say that you are more like, Harry or Lloyd? Why?
CC: Obviously I am more like Harry, just look at us.

FP: Have you or a teammate ever been laid on the 50 yd line @ FedEx field?
CC: I can’t speak for anyone else on the team, but I have never done such a thing at FedEx.

FP: Do you have any superstitions that you do on game days?
CC: I don’t really have any superstitions but I still get stupid pre-game jitters. This is like the 15th game this year of being nervous. It’s probably awesome for my health.


FP: Ben Roethlisburger is upset that Redskin’s cheerleaders stretch in front of the visiting teams locker room. What kind of stuff do other teams pull when you are at their stadium?
CC: In Dallas they turn off the AC in our locker room so its always about 90 degrees in there when we’re getting ready.

FP: Are you any good @ bar Olympics? (foosball, darts, pool etc?)
CC: I am amazing at bar Olympics. I have a dart board, pool table, air hockey, and ping pong in my basement. Unstoppable.

FP: I want to wear a cup when I’m playing wiffleball with my 3 year old, why don’t NFL players wear cups? You got helmets, elbows and knees flying around your junk.
CC: Its just not comfortable to run in a cup. I have never taken a big shot down there in all of high school, college, or the NFL. So why start now?


FP: What is your biggest fear?
CC: I’m not really afraid of anything. I don’t like super natural things.


FP: When you and Tanner came up with the idea for the blog, did you imagine that it would be this popular? (1.7 million hits in 8 months).
CC: When we started this we didn’t have any goals or expectations. We just did it to have fun and that’s what we’ve been doing ever since.


FP: My blog is getting 20-30 hits per day, compared to your 20,000 per, would you consider posting a picture of your right nut on my blog for a couple hours?
CC: Take a picture of your own nut and see the boost it gets. If your still at 20-30 after that….


FP: You are in a Fantasy Football League with other Skins players who don’t know a damn thing about Fantasy Football. Are you playing in any other leagues that are more competitive?
CC: I’m too busy to keep up on more than one league right now. I wish I had time cause I love fantasy sports but I just don’t.

FP: This is a long standing debate in our household, Aerosmith or Van Halen?
CC: Both awesome…Van Halen (yeah!)

FP: You’re an avid collector of sports cards, what is the one card in your collection that you could never part with?
CC: I have a John Elway rookie that I’ve had since I was ten. Its still in the screw down case that I got the day I bought the card for 4 dollars. That’s one you won’t see on Ebay.


FP: What does it say on your tombstone?
CC: Nothing special man. What ever my kids want to throw on there will probably be cool.


FP: Describe what the Dallas/Redskins rivalry means to you. Did Gibbs and Buges do a great job of instilling the history of this rivalry into the players?
CC: All of the NFC East opponents are tough. But for some reason I hate Dallas more than any other team in the NFL. Gibbs and Bugle are great coaches but they didn’t have to do any work making this more of a rivalry. It is just one of those natural things.

I want to thank Chris for taking the time to answer a bunch of stupid questions from a random fan who follows his blog (nice way of saying “borderline stalker”). I also want to thank Tanner Cooley, whom I’ve never met, yet always goes above and beyond for me. Thank you both, you guys are “BADASS”.

Cheers and Hail

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