Top 10 Reasons I’m Old

Today is my birthday, I’m 35. And despite my best efforts to rewind it back to age 24 a few years ago, the fact of the matter is…I’m old. WTF happened? Here is the Top 10 reasons I know I’m old:

#10. When I walk into a Hollister or Abercrombie, all the employees wonder who’s Dad just walked in.

#9 I remember buying Motley Crue and Poison’s first albums (cassette tapes.) Now they are considered classic rock.

#8. I’m in the worst shape of my life, by far. And my liver….well it’s just pissed at me.

#7. My favorite shows are no longer on TV, even in syndication.

#6. My Ipod playlist titled “New Stuff” is a collection of late 90′s and early 00′s songs.

#5. I’m older than every Redskins player except for 3. (the red snapper, Todd Collins, and Phillip Daniels, who shares by B-day!) I’m older than a couple of their coaches!

#4. I say things like “when I was growing up,” or “it seems like yesterday,” or “that was 10 years ago?”

#3. When my parents and uncles were 35, I thought they looked ancient. Now I think they look pretty damn good.

#2. In order to see my favorite bands in concert, they have to be on a reunion tour.

#1. I still have Suzanne Somers in my spank bank.

Cheers and Hail

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