NBA

Giiiilbeeeert!

1

Gilbert’s back and so am I! Gilbert returned after several operations and a couple lost seasons…I’m returning after a long weekend in VA and several cases of beer.

The Wizards beat the Mavericks in Dallas last night in impressive fashion to start the 2009-10 season. Gilbert looked like his old self, driving thru the lane and drawing contact. Pulling up for open jumpers…and a super fast first step that got him around defenders all night long. All that amounted to 29 points and 9 assists! After several failed comeback attempts over the last 2 years, it appears Arenas is finally healthy. Arenas initially wanted to rehab his knee at his own pace with his own regimen. His personal choice for rehabbing his knee included riding his bike to a football field where he ran 40 yard dashes with a parachute strapped to his bank…weeks after one of his surgeries. Later he would bash the organization for them allowing Gilbert to push himself too fast…I guess they should have hired him a babysitter. But, that appears to be in the past and I’m glad to see my favorite NBA player healthy and back on the court.

And although it’s only the first game and maybe I’m just looking for something to be optimistic about with my Redskins playing so poorly…I think the Wizards can be a top 4 or 5 team in the East. Flip Saunders unveiled his rotation last night and it varied quite a bit from what we have seen in the past. Nick Young got a DNP-Coach’s Decision last night after playing in all 82 games last year and averaging over 22 minutes. Mike James also received a DNP and Javale McGee played less than a minute. Their replacements (Oberto, Miller & Foye) were 12-20 from the floor and 3-6 from 3 point land. Deshawn Stevenson played only 17 minutes (that’s a good thing) specifically in a defensive role…perfect. And if Andray Blanche is anything close to what he was last night (20pts 7rebs) that will be a tremendous boost for the Wizards.

Again, way too early to get overly excited but the Mavericks were 32-9 at home last year…that was an impressive win and performance for Gilbert and the Wizards last night. Let’s hope there’s more to come…

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Categories: NBA, Wizards

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LazyJC: An Idiot’s Retort

Recently some donk came on FatPickled and enlightened us about how much better the NBA is then NCAA basketball. Certainly, we’re all better for it, because, as we know, in this day and age, no one could be interested in good, old fashioned amateur sports. We must have the watered down, boring-beyond-belief professional version of what used to be a great game. I could go on a lengthy diatribe on how wrong the preceding post is, but to keep things relatively short, and relatively fair, I’ll just respond to each point made:

They play 3x as many games – I get sick of hearing people saying that college kids try harder. If your wife asks you to lay the wood once a day you’d go all out. Let her ask you to lay it 3x a day and see if you’re pulling out all the usual tricks each time.
-
Right, the college kids that are diving for every loose ball, battling for every rebound, taking charges left and right aren’t playing harder then the pros who walk up and down the court most of the game. True, the pro game is longer, and the season is, too (who’s fault is that? they get paid to play that many games), but the reasoning for the style of play is simple. The NBA fills seats by giving the thrill seeking audiences they’re trying to attract dunks and 3-pointers. No reason to waste energy on defense, when no one forking up hundreds of dollars for good seats wants to see it, anyway.

There are way too many white guys in college basketball…at times it almost seems unrealistic to me
-Not sure how to respond to this, does anyone think these white kids are taking roster spots from minority kids? Maybe they can play a bit, too. Regardless of their leaping ability.

College basketball never had LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard, or Amare Stoudemire, Kevin Garnett, Tracy McGrady…should I keep going?
-Yes, college basketball also never had Martell Webster, Gerald Green, Shaun Livingston, Robert Swift, or Dorell Wright. Who are they? A few other first rounders out of high school. They’ve etched out a few years of getting paid, but none have developed into even a solid contributor. There’s a few more who have stuck around for a while, Kwame Brown, Eddy Curry, Tyson Chandler, come to mind. Again, no stars, just lost potential. You think a year or two of college may have helped their game (and career)? Now, perhaps they didn’t have the grades for college, but that’s why there’s the University of Texas, and Ohio State. Hell, Kobe’s recently spoken about how he regrets not playing in college.

High school players try pretty hard and want to win…does that mean I should compare them with NBA players?

-???

Sit courtside at a college game and then at a NBA game…the speed of the game is like comparing apples to oranges or better yet…women to men
-No, what you notice is the difference in strength, and the explosiveness that almost every player possesses. It’s like comparing men to, young men. It’s called maturation, and it steps up at each level. There’s no comparison in the athleticism and skill of the average NBA’er to the average college player. Still, when you walk the ball up the court every possession, how much added excitement does it generate? Half of the “highlight” plays that occur in the pro game is a result of an elite offensive player being guarded by an awful defensive player, and the rules of the game forbidding the defender from getting help. They’re trying to sell posters, too, you know.

It’s a possibility your girlfriend would bang Tyler Hansbrough…it’s a certainty your girlfriend would bang Dwayne Wade
- Most likely your girlfriend in college would have banged the Big Man on Campus, just for the notoriety. It’s a lock your girlfriend/wife would bang Dwayne Wade, he’s worth $100 million. So what? They’d bang Donald Trump, for the same reason.

There are 347 Division I teams consisting of about 4,200 college basketball players. Only sixty players are drafted into the NBA each year. That means only 1.4% of these kids are even good enough to ever step foot on an NBA floor
-Go through any NBA roster, and you’ll find an undrafted player. The NBA draft is as much of a crapshoot as any other professional league. Again, skill alone doesn’t guarantee quality of play.

I’m guessing you still want amateur players to represent USA in the Olympics?
-My personal favorite. When the world got sick of losing to our amateurs, they developed basketball programs that copied the likes of Russell, Chamberlain, Irving, Alcinder, Bird, Johnson and Jordan. In other words, players who were excellent basketball players, not just physical freaks who could dunk. Once our younger generation of players became more concerned with garnering shoe contracts, then perfecting their games, we had to send pros to win international competitions. And in case you didn’t notice in Athens, our second tier pros can’t win. That’s how bad the quality of basketball has fallen in the U.S. That’s why USA Basketball hired a college coach to win back the gold.

Name one NBA player that is so skinny he has to wear a t-shirt under his jersey
-Its called league uniform policy violation. Although, with all the obscene tats we see, they may want to re-think it.

Name one NBA player with pimples

-The ones who leave after one year of college (not Greg Odom, though. I’m convinced he’s really 35).

ATHLETICISM, ATHLETICISM, ATHLETICISM…like Shaq says, Lebron should be a cheat code
-Agreed. So why is the league so boring?

One question for basketball fans (and idiots) out there; you can attend one more sporting event in your life. You can choose between half-court floor seats at Game 7 of the NBA Finals, or seats behind either bench at Duke-UNC at Cameron Indoor. What would it be?
The Association has the better athletes, and players, of course. But does it have the atmosphere? Does it have the passion? There’s a reason Dick Vitale covers the college game, while Dr. Jack Ramsay speaks for the pros. It’s just a difference in attitude, and I’ll take the Madness over the organized dunk contest that the NBA has become. Decide for yourself. Just don’t listen to your bartender :)

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Posted by lazyjc22    Date: Friday, May 22, 2009

Categories: LazyJC, NBA, NCAA

Tags: , ,

E4three32: NBA Vs. NCAA Basketball? Everything and More

Recently some donk came in where I bartend and started talking about how much better NCAA basketball is than the NBA. All the while I stood there politely nodding my head and holding back my thoughts on the topic, hoping that by pretending to be interested in what this guy was saying I might be able to get a pretty good tip. But the fact of the matter is…this guy is an idiot, and if you feel the same way this guy does, guess what…you’re an idiot too! Now it wouldn’t be fair to just call you an idiot and that be the end of it, rather I’m going to list the numerous reasons why the NBA is flatout just better than college basketball…

  • They play 3x as many games – I get sick of hearing people saying that college kids try harder. If your wife asks you to lay the wood once a day you’d go all out. Let her ask you to lay it 3x a day and see if you’re pulling out all the usual tricks each time
  • There are way too many white guys in college basketball…at times it almost seems unrealistic to me
  • College basketball never had LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard, or Amare Stoudemire, Kevin Garnett, Tracy McGrady…should I keep going?
  • High school players try pretty hard and want to win…does that mean I should compare them with NBA players?
  • Sit courtside at a college game and then at a NBA game…the speed of the game is like comparing apples to oranges or better yet…women to men
  • It’s a possibility your girlfriend would bang Tyler Hansbrough…it’s a certainty your gilfriend would bang Dwayne Wade
  • There are 347 Division I teams consisting of about 4,200 college basketball players. Only sixty players are drafted into the NBA each year. That means only 1.4% of these kids are even good enough to ever step foot on an NBA floor
  • I’m guessing you still want amatuer players to represent USA in the olympics?
  • Name one NBA player that is so skinny he has to wear a t-shirt under his jersey
  • Name one NBA player with pimples
  • ATHLETICISM, ATHLETICISM, ATHLETICSIM…like Shaq says, Lebron should be a cheat code

Damn…that tip wasn’t worth it.

Until Next time,

E4three32

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Posted by E4three32    Date: Friday, May 22, 2009

Categories: E4three32, NBA, NCAA

Tags: , , ,

Introducing…

The following group of NBA players are those that I believe to be the most humble in the league. I’m positive that they thank God everyday for the basketball talent he has blessed them with. Because without the size and athletic ability that has allowed them to make millions of dollars, there is no way they could be pulling in the broads they do on a nightly basis.

Introducing…The NBA First Team All Ugly

C – George Muresan – Michael Phelps?


PF – Tyrone Hill – If you were ever to see the 76er’s play when he did, I can only pray you didn’t have floor seats

SF – Tyshaun Prince

SG – Delante West

PG – Sam Cassell – Quite possibly the from a different planet


Sixth Man Award
Andrei Kirilenko – He deserves this award mainly because his wife reportedly allows him one free “bang pass” a year as long as she is in the room watching. Nobody was more mad than Jerry Sloan when hearing he has repeatedly used this pass on John Amechi.


Coach of the Year
Stan Van Gundy – Just pretend


Rookie of the Year
Greg Oden


All-Time MVP
Reggie Miller


Until Next Time,
E4three32

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Posted by E4three32    Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Categories: E4three32, NBA

Tags: , , ,

Crab Dribble

Is there something on my chin?

I’ve played and watched a lot of basketball in my time, but this week was the first time I heard the term “crab dribble.” I’m familiar with the “crab walk”, an old school exercise from football practice back in the day. When researching for this post, I learned the urban dictionary meaning for “crabwalk.”(Warning, adult humor)

Basketball wasn’t my sport, although I was an awesome shooter. However, I didn’t enjoy passing the ball or playing defense, sounds like I could have made the NBA!

I do know what a travel is, and I love Lebron James being called for one in the final seconds of a tight game. The Wizards may be terrible this season, but their rivalry with the Cavs is worth watching.

(I’ve watched this several times, he may take 4 steps?)

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled, NBA

Tags: , , ,

Hall Of Shame

I’m Livin the dream, how can I f**k it up?
Plaxico Burress is the latest in a long line of professional athletes who have found a way to “ruin a wet dream.” Many athletes have squandered their fame and fortune, and they have found many different ways to do so. I have compiled my own little Hall of Shame, complete with categories documenting their downfall.
I do have to admit that I am guilty of some of these. When I go out I hit the ATM and get plenty of cash, usually my fast cash option of 60 bucks. Because when I’m out at my local pub, I may want to make it rain while I’m eating my corned beef sandwich. And I usually bring my numchucks in case someone starts hassling me while I’m playing Golden Tee.
My Hall of Shame Team,
I want to use my signing bonus or last 50 grand I have in the bank to make a drug deal club:
Travis Henry – After screwing up a 5 year/22.5 mil deal with the Broncos, Henry decided to become “the ruthless money guy in a cocaine trafficking ring.”
Jamal Lewis – In the prime of his career he decided to help a few buddies work up a drug deal, causing him to lose millions and spend some time in the clink.
Nate Newton – I love this story. 5 weeks after getting arrested for having 213 lbs of pot in his van, Newton was arrested again. This time he only had the van loaded down with 175lbs!
Timmy Smith - After rushing for 204 yds in Super Bowl XXII against the Broncos, Timmy retired to Denver. I’m not sure if he knows Travis Henry, but they both live in the Denver area and deal cocaine.
I don’t deal drugs, I abuse them club:
Dwight Gooden - Suspended multiple times as coke and alcohol derailed a potential HOF career.
Darryl Strawberry - see Dwight Gooden above.
Dexter Manley - One of the greatest DE’s ever, he could never stay away from the crack, and was banned from the NFL.
Travis Henry - Suspended by the NFL multiple times for using drugs and yes he also deals them!
I made millions in my career but spent millions more club:
Evander Holyfield - Still boxing after making 250 million, creditors are lined up!
Mike Tyson – How much money does Don King have?
Travis Henry - “He doesn’t have any money. The guy has significant financial issues.” A quote from Henry’s lawyer.
This club is the bomb, I think I’m gonna bust a cap up in this bitch club:
Tank Johnson -Had enough guns and ammo at his house to film Die Hard 5.
Plaxico Burress - I play for the Giants and I’m going to a club in Manhattan. I’m worried that people might not know who I am, so how can I draw attention to myself? I know, I’ll wear a couple hundred grand worth of jewelery and bring thousands of dollars in cash. I better bring a gun.
Maurice Clarett - After getting “his goose on” with the Broncos, Clarett was arrested for armed burglary and had 5 loaded weapons in his car. And a bottle of Grey Goose.
Smack my bitch up club:
Mike Tyson - arrested for rape
Lawrence Phillips - do not date this man
Riddick Bowe – kidnapped wife and kids
The degenerate drunk gambler club (also known as the white man’s club):
Art Schlichter - has lied, cheated, and stole his entire life due to his addiction to gambling.
John Daly - has never found a bar, casino, or Hooters that he hasn’t liked. Claims to have lost at least 50 million gambling!
Denny Mclain - The last MLB pitcher to win 30 games, he has all kinds of issues like drug trafficking, embezzlement, and racketeering.
Pete Rose - So he had a gambling problem, this is Charlie Hustle, he deserves to be in the Hall!
The I’m gonna pull out this time club:
Evander Holyfield - 11 childen
Travis Henry - 9 children by 9 different women, by the age of 28!
Shawn Kemp - 7 children by 6 women
There are many more categories, and many, many more dumb asses who have flushed it all away. But can we find a better face for our Hall of Shame than this guy?

I’m not only a member, I’m also the President.

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Categories: Fatpickled, MLB, NBA, NCAA, NFL

Tags: ,

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