Redskins

I Think We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Boat

I love this picture that ran in The DC Issue of ESPN The Magazine back in October 2012. Believe it or not, I’ve had this picture sitting on an end table beside my lazy-boy for nearly 6 months with the intention of posting the picture. Well, they don’t call it a lazy boy for nothing…my blogging has been sporadic at best over that time. Anyway, I digress.

I see that the picture was blogged about before over at the DC Sports Bog. The key to the picture was not posted on that site but I’m posting it here today. Of course, the fun to the picture is trying to name each of the 29 DC Sports Greats without cheating. So give that a shot before scrolling down to the bottom to find the answers.

The debate of the picture is to ask if this is indeed the 29 greatest DC has too offer? If we are talking greatest of all-time the answer is no. While Bryce Harper may earn a ticket on the boat in the future, one decent season shouldn’t get him on it today. Same goes for Stephen Strasburg. John Wall, really? Only 1 Georgetown Hoya is represented, only 3 Washington Capitals. Several Hall of Fame Washington Redskins are left off and Gilbert Arenas is one of the representatives for the Washington Bullets/Wizards…loved him but FAIL.

So who would you kick off the boat? Who would you replace them with?

Cheers and Hail

Editors note: Sometime over the last 6 months my 8 year old son decided to color in 5 athletes in the key. Not sure how he randomly chose the 5?

36-Year-Old John Riggins Held Out (Successfully) For More Money in 1985

In this day in age when running backs are considered over the hill at 30, when salary caps restrict teams from signing core players/fan favorites (see Alexander, Lorenzo) it’s hard to imagine a team negotiating with a 36 year old running back with a bad back and 2 bad hips. However, that’s exactly what the Redskins did with future Hall of Fame Running Back John Riggins during training camp in 1985. The 17 day holdout would result in Riggins receiving the largest 1 year contract in the history on the NFL for a running back, $825,000…not exactly chump change 28 years ago. To recap…hold-out running back, 36 yrs old, bad back and hips…but wait there’s more!!!

Riggins was just 3 weeks removed from an arrest for being drunk-in-public in Reston, VA. The drunk-in-public charge came just a few months after the famous “loosen up, Sandy baby, you’re too tight” comment to Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor at a black tie Congress dinner. Riggins quieted up after he blurted that comment…as he passed out under the dinner table. Now we’re dealing with a broken down running back with a drinking problem!!!

You have to admit that Riggins had a set of brass balls on him. While he had a nice season in 1984 (1,239 yds rushing & 14 TD’s), age and injury were clearly stacked against him. In addition, you had the drinking issues along with the fact that the Redskins had traded for George Rogers the previous off season. Rogers was just 27 years old and had accumulated 4,267 yards rushing in 4 seasons. Riggins held out while his chosen replacement was learning the offense.

In the end Riggins had the only ally he needed on his side, Head Coach Joe Gibbs. Gibbs was loyal to Riggins and convinced Jack Kent Cooke to open the checkbook one more time for the Diesel. The 1985 season would be Riggins last season in the NFL. Riggo played in 12 games, starting 11 and rushed for 677 yards and 8TD’s.

The full article that appeared in the August 26, 1985 issue of Sports Illustrated features many more nuggets including Riggins saying “I’ve been embarrassed and humiliated by the boners I’ve pulled”. Oh Riggo…you were one of a kind.

Cheers and Hail

The Ballad of Big John (Riggins)

I first heard this song on WPRW on the AM radio of my parents car way back in the day. Over the years I had randomly searched for the tune thru Google & Youtube but never had any luck. Truthfully, my memories had failed me and I thought the song had been about Dave Butz and I thought the hook was “Big Bad Butz”. Thus the reason I never found the song. Luckily, Redskins fan Brendan Severo (@MWCRedskin) tweeted out a link to this video. I have transcribed the words below…I love this song and I’m glad I now have my memory straight.

Ps…Good luck getting this song out your head, your welcome. FP

Big John, Big John

From Deep in the heartlands where the buffalo roam
Came an American Legend called Centralia his home
He stood 6’2’’ weighed 245
Folks say he was the fastest white man alive
Big John

Big John, Big John

Well the playoffs would start & expectations was high
He went in Joe Gibbs office looked him square in the eye
Lookie here Joe I plan on winning it all
& the only way to do it is by giving the ball
To Big John

Big John, Big John

Well he ran thru the Lions like crap thru a goose
& what they did to Minnesota some called it abuse
The chant “we want Dallas” started shaking the stands
Big John didn’t disappoint none of the fans
Behind Grimm & Jacoby, Bostic & Starke
He stomped on them Cowpokes like it was a walk in the park
One thing stood between Big John & his goal
Had to Skin him some Dolphins in the ultimate bowl

Big John, Big John

We was trailing by 4 with time running out
Coach sent in a play that left little doubt
He called 70 Chip & Didier went in motion
Then he ran the other way, he caused a big commotion
Big John took the ball bust out like a torpedo
Swatted that fella McNeil like he was a mosquito
Well he scored a touchdown & we won the game
& Big John kept running right to the Hall of Fame

Big John, Big John

Cheers and Hail

Michael Westbrook Has Found A New Opponent To Fight

We’ve seen Michael Westbrook knock out a teammate, give a bully a beatdown and have an MMA match with an oddly small man. Westbrook is now taking his Black Belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to your local cable provider’s On Demand channel. Westbrook will be fighting Steven Seagal in a movie currently filming entitled Force of Execution. I say the movie will be available On Demand because I can’t remember the last Steven Seagal movie that opened in theaters. I think in the old days…or not so long ago, these movies were straight-to-video. I do have to say that I do enjoy me some Under Seige and Out For Justice.

In retirement, Westbrook has settled in Arizona and seems to have dedicated his life to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Westbrook will even train you to kick someone’s ass! He has 3 children and doesn’t give a shit about football…which makes perfect sense because he never cared about football when he was playing. As far as his new career as an actor, I’m assuming it will be Westbrook taking the beating this time.

Now, if you’ll excuse me…I’m going to see if I can find Out For Justice On Demand.

Cheers and Hail

Handing Out Christmas Gifts To The Redskins

Photo via Burgundy Blog

Fatpickle has a bag full of gifts for the Redskins, let’s see who’s been naughty or nice.

Dan Snyder – 5inches. It’s the only thing I can figure to give to a man who has it all. He can use it to be taller or use it in his pants…either way I’m guessing he can use it.

Mike Shanahan – 3 Airbrush Tans from Tandulgence in Ashburn, VA. We gotta have Shanny looking his best for the playoffs.

Robert Griffin III – The world’s largest trophy case, he’s going to need it to hold all the hardware he’s going to collect in his career.

Alfred Morris – A new car, hit me up ALF…I’m in the business and know people.

Santana Moss – 15 more snaps a game, he’s still getting the job done and deserves them.

Leonard Hankerson – stick-em…please share this gift with Niles Paul.

Logan Paulsen – a razor, a bar of soap, a gift certificate to Great Clips and a sandwich…you know, stocking stuffers.

Chris Cooley – a home playoff game.

Trent Williams – a toke. He’s been awesome this year and I know he loves it…just don’t get caught.

London Fletcher – 5 minutes alone with the Cleveland Brown’s Security Department.

Brian Orakpo – Arnold Schwarzenegger’s pecs (when Arnold was in his prime).

DeAngelo Hall – the ability to play well the rest of the year…and a suitcase for after. (I hid Brandon Banks in the suitcase)

Lorenzo Alexander – A trip to the Pro Bowl, it’s well deserved.

Barry Cofield – more sacks…this is really a gift for me cuz I love the taser sack dance so much.

Sav Rocca – Another shrimp off the Barbie and a good Australian beer, apparently Australians think Fosters is piss water.

Kai Forbath – a shoe that fits, not to be worn until after the Super Bowl of course.

Merry Christmas to all. Cheers and Hail

Time For Shanny To Stop Banking On Banks

Mike Shanahan discussing Brandon Banks earlier in the season:

He’s a guy that’s a playmaker, and he’s proved that since he’s been here. We’re going to find ways to get him the football.”

Well, you’ve tried Shanny and it’s failed…however, it’s not for a lack of trying. The Shanny’s have force fed the ball to Banks with terrible results. This experiment has failed worse than a TE reverse and almost as bad as Shanny hitching his reputation to Rex Grossman and John Beck.

Here’s how bad Banks has been:

In the Redskins last 5 games Banks has 4 rushes for 7 yards and 5 receptions for negative 4 yards. That’s 9 offensive touches and a total of 3 yards. Jamie Mottram could do better.

Banks has 7 receptions for 7 yards this season. Grant Paulsen is more elusive as a Wide Receiver.

Banks has zero kick returns in 40% of the Redskins games this season…so the 1 thing he does well is pretty much non-existent do to the new rules.

Banks punt return stats in 40% of this season’s games: negative 3 yards, negative 1 yard, negative 4 yards and 1 yard. Again, the one thing he does well has been neutralized. Kevin Ewoldt can do better.

Banks has 1 TD in 231 career touches, I’m pretty sure I can score a TD with 231 touches.

Banks hasn’t scored a regular season TD since October of 2010.

Banks has 20 career offensive touches totaling 70 yards and ZERO TD’s. 3.5 yards per touch.

Banks seems to fumble out of bounds at the end of every play.

It’s time to move on from the “Speedy” Banks era. Give Niles Paul a chance to return kick-offs and put Santana Moss back on punt returns. Let Ewoldt, Mottram or Paulsen take the offensive reps, we can’t do any worse.

I’ m begging you Wooden Teeth, please take all of the Banks plays out of the playbook. While you’re at it take the TE reverse and option plays out of there…use them all as kindling. Maybe throw the ball downfield again, great things seem to happen when you do.

Cheers and Hail