Recently some donk came on FatPickled and enlightened us about how much better the NBA is then NCAA basketball. Certainly, we’re all better for it, because, as we know, in this day and age, no one could be interested in good, old fashioned amateur sports. We must have the watered down, boring-beyond-belief professional version of what used to be a great game. I could go on a lengthy diatribe on how wrong the preceding post is, but to keep things relatively short, and relatively fair, I’ll just respond to each point made:

They play 3x as many games - I get sick of hearing people saying that college kids try harder. If your wife asks you to lay the wood once a day you’d go all out. Let her ask you to lay it 3x a day and see if you’re pulling out all the usual tricks each time.
- Right, the college kids that are diving for every loose ball, battling for every rebound, taking charges left and right aren’t playing harder then the pros who walk up and down the court most of the game. True, the pro game is longer, and the season is, too (who’s fault is that? they get paid to play that many games), but the reasoning for the style of play is simple. The NBA fills seats by giving the thrill seeking audiences they’re trying to attract dunks and 3-pointers. No reason to waste energy on defense, when no one forking up hundreds of dollars for good seats wants to see it, anyway.

There are way too many white guys in college basketball…at times it almost seems unrealistic to me
-Not sure how to respond to this, does anyone think these white kids are taking roster spots from minority kids? Maybe they can play a bit, too. Regardless of their leaping ability.

College basketball never had LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard, or Amare Stoudemire, Kevin Garnett, Tracy McGrady…should I keep going?
-Yes, college basketball also never had Martell Webster, Gerald Green, Shaun Livingston, Robert Swift, or Dorell Wright. Who are they? A few other first rounders out of high school. They’ve etched out a few years of getting paid, but none have developed into even a solid contributor. There’s a few more who have stuck around for a while, Kwame Brown, Eddy Curry, Tyson Chandler, come to mind. Again, no stars, just lost potential. You think a year or two of college may have helped their game (and career)? Now, perhaps they didn’t have the grades for college, but that’s why there’s the University of Texas, and Ohio State. Hell, Kobe’s recently spoken about how he regrets not playing in college.

High school players try pretty hard and want to win…does that mean I should compare them with NBA players?
-???

Sit courtside at a college game and then at a NBA game…the speed of the game is like comparing apples to oranges or better yet…women to men
-No, what you notice is the difference in strength, and the explosiveness that almost every player possesses. It’s like comparing men to, young men. It’s called maturation, and it steps up at each level. There’s no comparison in the athleticism and skill of the average NBA’er to the average college player. Still, when you walk the ball up the court every possession, how much added excitement does it generate? Half of the “highlight” plays that occur in the pro game is a result of an elite offensive player being guarded by an awful defensive player, and the rules of the game forbidding the defender from getting help. They’re trying to sell posters, too, you know.

It’s a possibility your girlfriend would bang Tyler Hansbrough…it’s a certainty your girlfriend would bang Dwayne Wade
- Most likely your girlfriend in college would have banged the Big Man on Campus, just for the notoriety. It’s a lock your girlfriend/wife would bang Dwayne Wade, he’s worth $100 million. So what? They’d bang Donald Trump, for the same reason.

There are 347 Division I teams consisting of about 4,200 college basketball players. Only sixty players are drafted into the NBA each year. That means only 1.4% of these kids are even good enough to ever step foot on an NBA floor
-Go through any NBA roster, and you’ll find an undrafted player. The NBA draft is as much of a crapshoot as any other professional league. Again, skill alone doesn’t guarantee quality of play.

I’m guessing you still want amateur players to represent USA in the Olympics?
-My personal favorite. When the world got sick of losing to our amateurs, they developed basketball programs that copied the likes of Russell, Chamberlain, Irving, Alcinder, Bird, Johnson and Jordan. In other words, players who were excellent basketball players, not just physical freaks who could dunk. Once our younger generation of players became more concerned with garnering shoe contracts, then perfecting their games, we had to send pros to win international competitions. And in case you didn’t notice in Athens, our second tier pros can’t win. That’s how bad the quality of basketball has fallen in the U.S. That’s why USA Basketball hired a college coach to win back the gold.

Name one NBA player that is so skinny he has to wear a t-shirt under his jersey
-Its called league uniform policy violation. Although, with all the obscene tats we see, they may want to re-think it.

Name one NBA player with pimples
-The ones who leave after one year of college (not Greg Odom, though. I’m convinced he’s really 35).

ATHLETICISM, ATHLETICISM, ATHLETICISM…like Shaq says, Lebron should be a cheat code
-Agreed. So why is the league so boring?

One question for basketball fans (and idiots) out there; you can attend one more sporting event in your life. You can choose between half-court floor seats at Game 7 of the NBA Finals, or seats behind either bench at Duke-UNC at Cameron Indoor. What would it be?
The Association has the better athletes, and players, of course. But does it have the atmosphere? Does it have the passion? There’s a reason Dick Vitale covers the college game, while Dr. Jack Ramsay speaks for the pros. It’s just a difference in attitude, and I’ll take the Madness over the organized dunk contest that the NBA has become. Decide for yourself. Just don’t listen to your bartender

So, my plan to save the jobs of the 80 staffers is simple, the players are going to participate. If the league is indeed struggling, the players and their guaranteed contracts are not. The NBA will pay out 2 Billion in player salaries this year! That’s right 2 billion!

My plan is to tax them 1%. For every $100 they earn, they will donate one dollar. Money I would never miss, let alone the average NBA player earning 5.6 million per year. This 1% tax will result in a pool of 20 million to pay the 80 staffers. Assuming the average staffer was making $75,000 per year (probably generous), this will be enough money to pay their salaries for the next 3 years. This will actually create a surplus of 2 million dollars, which I will take for a consulting fee.

So a quick recap, a bunch of underachieving millionaires get taxed 1% for one year. This 1% tax saves the jobs of 80 decent hard-working people for 3 years, by which time I pray our economy is fixed. And lets not forget just how many lives are affected by those 80 firings, there are spouses and children that suffer.

I’m all in, what do you think? Anyone have David Stern’s number?

Cheers and Hail!