The Bacon Explosion Effect

To my wife, her girlfriends, and my mom… it’s best for you all to skip this post and wait for the next one. Trust me.

The first time I laid eyes on the “bacon explosion” I’ll admit that I was impressed, intimidated, and intrigued. It looked disgusting, but I had to try it, if not for anything else than to say that I did. My partners at work and I decided we were going to try and tackle this monster, and we put “Texas Mike” in charge of the cooking.
After reviewing the recipe for the explosion, “TM” thought it should have some chopped up jalapenos added to the mixture. Being from Texas he enjoys the heat, and felt the jalapenos would “kick it up a notch.” OK, I’m in.
TM arrived to work on Monday morning carrying what appeared to be a 6 inch sub in aluminum foil. This mass of pig goes into your smoker or oven the size of a football, but comes out much smaller. Don’t be worried, there will be plenty for everyone! TM thought we should cut up the roll and have BLT sandwiches for lunch. No way, bacon and sausage are breakfast foods, cut me off a slice beeeaaatttcchhhh.
The first bite was heaven. The combination of the salty bacon and sausage with the sweetness of the BBQ sauce and the spiciness of the jalapenos formed an explosion of culinary heaven in my mouth. I proceeded to eat 3 slices for breakfast. Others who tried it in the AM were not as high on it as I was. The reviews were anywhere from disgusting to just OK. Others were waiting till later in the day to try it. At this point, other than a normal morning cincinnati traffic jam, I’m doing well.
At 1pm it was time for lunch. The office wanted Taco Bell and I jumped on board with an order of 2 crispy tacos. A small order for sure from Taco Bell, but I wasn’t real hungry, and besides that, I had big plans for my taco. Yep, on my 2 tacos I had 2 slices of bacon explosion and fire sauce! No one else dared to try this, in fact no one else is even trying the bacon explosion at all. But my creation was awesome, and there’s some bacon explosion left for the ultimate BLT for dinner!
Here is where the story takes a turn. I wish I could tell you that I fought the good fight, and the BLT’s were awesome, but I never made it. By dinner time I was sweating, shivering, had a terrible headache, and my boxer briefs were in the trash. The next 12-24 hours were rough to say the least. It would have been a good day to visit the doctor for a physical. The blood, urine, and stool sample would have been easy, I could have just handed over my underwear!

With all that being said, never again for me and the explosion. However, if your a “man’s man,” you’ve got to try this thing once! Just don’t make any big plans for the next day.

Cheers and Hail
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