Lazy JC: How I Really Hate Em

Anyone who’s know me for the past 32 years, would know, this week especially, that the title of this post would be directed at the Dallas Cowboys. I’ve hated them as far back as I can remember. Hated Danny White. Hated Randy White. Hated Ed “too tall” Jones, hated Tony Dorsett. Hated Tom Landry, even though I thought he was a class act, but he was a Cowboy. I even hated the Minnesota Vikings for several years, for making that awful Herschel Walker trade, which paved the way for the Cowboys to become good again. You know I hated Troy Aikman, Emmit Smith and Michael Irvin. Recently it’s been easy to hate the Cowboys, they employed very hate-able clowns like T.O. and Pacman Jones. I met Tony Romo at Tiger Woods’ event in Washington D.C. this past summer, and wanted to hate him, but he seemed like a nice guy. Then I saw that he could out drive me, and had a lower handicap, so can I hate him, again.

The problem with this week is, for the first time I can remember, I’m not sure if I want my Washington Redskins to blow the Cowboys off the field. In fact, there’s a part of me that wants the opposite to happen. I’m as confused as I’m sure you are reading this.

Photo via D.C. Sports Bog

Let me explain. I’ve been a Redskins fan my entire life and, as most fans this year, am absolutely sick about the state of the team. I’ve tried to find the silver lining in the moves the team made the past few years, hiring the owner’s racquetball partner as head of football operations, hiring an offensive coordinator before hiring a head coach, then, once they realized that no established coaches wants to come anywhere near this train wreck, hire said offensive coordinator to be the head coach, even though he’d never even been as much as a coordinator before. I’ve watched as they draft three receivers in the second round, while the offensive and defensive lines go neglected. Watched them throw huge signing bonuses at flash-in-the-pan players, while trading hard to come by commodities (like a shutdown cornerback), for easily obtained talent (productive running back). This year, I’ve watched the circus continue, as the racquetball partner proclaimed to everyone that the team had playoff talent, as they signed guys off the couch to bolster their terrible offensive line. Still, I tried to find the good in it all, the racquetball partner resigned. The son of one of the most recognizable and respected Redskin coaches was hired to run the team. They got a decent punter, for once. The kid they drafted in the first round has provided some badly needed pressure on the opposing quarterbacks, and the guy they threw $100 million at has helped him, during the 60% of defensive snaps that he plays. I thought that, perhaps, playing for a contract would bring out the best in the misused, damaged-goods quarterback who spent half of last season (and most of this season) pulling turf out of his helmet. At times, it has happened.

But, they started 2-6 against, arguably, the easiest schedule in football. The offensive coordinator-turned head coach was stripped of his play calling duties in favor of a guy who’d been volunteering at the bingo parlor. All a Redskins fan could do was endure the inevitable beatings that were sure to come, and wait longingly for that top pick in the draft next April.

Then the bastards knock Kyle Orton out of the game, make a few plays offensively, and beat the Denver Broncos, who’d started the season 6-0. They outplayed Dallas, Philly, and New Orleans for large stretches, before blowing all three games late. They go into Oakland and blow them out. Now, with a remade line paving the way for explosive runners Rock Cartwright, Quinton Ganther and Marcus Mason (huh?), the crappy, ’09 Redskins, at times, have looked like the ’83 Hogs. For a few games, at least. Still, last week’s performance against the Giants, at home, on Monday night, leaves D.C. anxiously, but cautiously, waiting for the showdown with the Cowboys this Sunday. While I’m sure the Giants game reminded most fans that this is still a bad team with many fundamental problems, and everyone realizes that Dallas is a better team, the small glimpses of hope the Redskins gave their fans the four weeks before Monday night has a few hoping that, maybe, they can pull this one off. After all, it’s Redskins-Cowboys. Throw the records out the window. Anything can happen, right?

Here’s were we get to my confusion. I know that my football team is a bad football team. I know that there’s going to have to be major changes made in the offseason for the organization to turn things around. I also have little faith in the people who are going to have to make those changes. Bruce Allen comes from a legendary football family, and actually has a nice football resume’, but he still has to work for Dan Snyder. I do know one thing, that losing to the Cowboys makes the owner of the Redskins very mad. I’m sure that, witnessing a big Cowboys win, in his own stadium, a week after another division rival embarrassed his team at home, will enrage him, to the point that may ensure that those changes get made. To the point where he actually allows the football man he’s hired to run the team, to run the team. I’ve never wanted the Redskins to lose a game, but can you see the bind I’m in? What to hope for? Instant gratification (I have a wing party at Hooters riding on this game!)? But, would a win give the clown calling the shots false hope for this team? Would he continue to think that they’re only a few pieces away from a real contender? Or do I hope for the greater good, a rousing defeat at that hands of the hated rivals, and decisive change that may renew this once great franchise?

I know that, as a sports fan, I’ve never felt this way about any team I’ve ever supported.

How I really hate ‘em.

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