The Urban Dictionary For NFL Coaches

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If it’s on the Internet it must be true, right? Sometimes I enjoy searching the Urban Dictionary for fun definitions, a Cincinatti Traffic Jam is still one of my favorites. So I decided to search the UD for the definitions of all 32 NFL head coaches. The results of what I found are below, you have the definitions, along with the proper use of each coaches name in a sentence. Feel free to incorporate the lingo in your day to day vocabulary. I mean, I spend every Sunday trying to not end up Sean Paytoning myself!

Tom Coughlan – a code word for a girl’s period.

My girls been giving me a ration of s*&# all day, she must be on her Tom Couglan.

Andy Reid – Fat, overweight, or obese

Rick’s dropped 30 pounds and he’s still Andy Reid.

Wade Phillips – slang term for marijuana meaning “weed”.

They say 70% of the NBA tests positive for Wade Phillips.

Jim Zorn – A slang term used to discreetly refer to a man’s erection.

I’ve got to sit here at my desk for a minute or two, I had a Jim Zorn pop up on me.

Brad Childress – One that is in sync with his/her “bitches and hoes”

I’ve totally got my Brad Childress working with Halle Berry & Jennifer Anniston.

Lovie Smith – A person who does not leave and does not understand the word no.

Megan Fox has told Fatpickle to get lost a thousand times, but he’s still Lovie Smithing her.

Mike McCarthy – to fail, screw up or mess up

I can’t believe we found a way to Mike McCarthy this game up.

Jim Schwartz – Anyone who has the knack for working on any project and making it turn out like crap.

Did you see the proposal Rich did for the meeting? He totally Jim Schwartz’d it.

Sean Payton – excess alcohol consumption, resulting in shitting of the pants.

Had to throw away my boxers last night, that last lemon drop made me Sean Payton.

Mike Smith – Loser with a hairy ass and nice titties and a small penis.

Rush Limbaugh is Mike Smith.

John Fox – a person who uses the services of a prostitute

I’m going to log onto to Craig’s list and see if I can get my John Fox on.

Raheem Morris – To simultaneously sneeze and s*&#.

Ahh, ahh, ahh, chooo. Oh no! I Raheem Morris’d!

Mike Singletary – To take a s*&# on somebody’s forehead and wake them up quickly.

Common Johnny wake up! The fish are biting! If you’re not up in 5 minutes I’m going to Mike Singletary you.

Ken Whisenhunt – Barbie’s plastic bitch.

Derek can’t do anything anymore; his girl treats him like Ken Whisenhunt.

Jim Mora – To take a talented and winning core of players and coach them into a miserable season.

Who does this Norv Turner think he is…Jim Mora?

Steve Spagnolo – A visible thong on a woman above her jeans/shorts

Look at that smoking hot girl right there, I see a red Steve Spagnolo peeking out.

Rex Ryan – A man with an 11 incher who picks up a lot of milfs at the library.

Eric tapped another hot milf last night, the guys becoming a regular Rex Ryan!

Bill Belichick – Cheater, Fraud, Led the New England Patriots to 3 Tainted Super Bowl Championships.

Mr. Snyder I’ve found the answer to turn things around, the answer is cheating…and we need Bill Belichick as an “extra set of eyes.”

Tony Sparano – a great man, a horny bastard though

I hope on my tombstone it reads “here lays Tony Sparano”

Dick Jauron – An adjective to describe a guy who is a jerk or does mean and stupid things.

Dan Snyder has run this franchise into the ground by being a total Dick Jauron.

Marvin Lewis – The act of dick slapping or hitting a woman with your penis.

Do you think Obama’s gives the first lady a Marvin Lewis?

John Harbaugh – Randomly adding people on facebook that you have never met in real life, especially girls that write on your friend’s walls.

I don’t know who this freak is trying to be friend me on Facebook, do you know John Harbaugh?

Mike Tomlin – To do a Tomlin involves the individual concerned struggling with his or her latent longing for sex with their own gender to such an extent that a mental breakdown occurs.

Do you recall 2 seasons ago when T.O. had that Mike Tomlin?

Eric Mangini – a camel toe

Look at the hot chick in the spandex…can you say Eric Mangini?

Jim Caldwell – to describe yourself or someone with a large penis.

Looks like that Visanthe Shiancoe is smuggling a Jim Caldwell.

Jack Del Rio – To masturbate

I don’t know about you, but I can’t function on my day off till I Jack Del Rio.

Gary Kubiak – An a-hole.

You know Rick from accounting is a total Gary Kubiak.

Jeff Fisher – The art of burping and farting at the same time.

I love the chili from Ben’s Chili Bowl, but it always gives me the Jeff Fishers.

Josh Mcdaniels – Getting a hand job.

Well..honey, can I at least get a Josh McDaniels?

Norv Turner – Used to describe the pinnacle of dysfunctional head coaching abilities conversationally

Dan Snyder hired Zorn because he thought he was the next Norv Turner.

Tom Cable – To take a shit

Call the plumber, I just laid a Tom Cable that won’t go down.

Todd Haley – The wet spot in a bed.

Let’s do it over here, I don’t want to sleep on the Todd Haley all night.

Cheer and Hail

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