Archive for February, 2009

The Bacon Explosion Effect

To my wife, her girlfriends, and my mom… it’s best for you all to skip this post and wait for the next one. Trust me.

The first time I laid eyes on the “bacon explosion” I’ll admit that I was impressed, intimidated, and intrigued. It looked disgusting, but I had to try it, if not for anything else than to say that I did. My partners at work and I decided we were going to try and tackle this monster, and we put “Texas Mike” in charge of the cooking.
After reviewing the recipe for the explosion, “TM” thought it should have some chopped up jalapenos added to the mixture. Being from Texas he enjoys the heat, and felt the jalapenos would “kick it up a notch.” OK, I’m in.
TM arrived to work on Monday morning carrying what appeared to be a 6 inch sub in aluminum foil. This mass of pig goes into your smoker or oven the size of a football, but comes out much smaller. Don’t be worried, there will be plenty for everyone! TM thought we should cut up the roll and have BLT sandwiches for lunch. No way, bacon and sausage are breakfast foods, cut me off a slice beeeaaatttcchhhh.
The first bite was heaven. The combination of the salty bacon and sausage with the sweetness of the BBQ sauce and the spiciness of the jalapenos formed an explosion of culinary heaven in my mouth. I proceeded to eat 3 slices for breakfast. Others who tried it in the AM were not as high on it as I was. The reviews were anywhere from disgusting to just OK. Others were waiting till later in the day to try it. At this point, other than a normal morning cincinnati traffic jam, I’m doing well.
At 1pm it was time for lunch. The office wanted Taco Bell and I jumped on board with an order of 2 crispy tacos. A small order for sure from Taco Bell, but I wasn’t real hungry, and besides that, I had big plans for my taco. Yep, on my 2 tacos I had 2 slices of bacon explosion and fire sauce! No one else dared to try this, in fact no one else is even trying the bacon explosion at all. But my creation was awesome, and there’s some bacon explosion left for the ultimate BLT for dinner!
Here is where the story takes a turn. I wish I could tell you that I fought the good fight, and the BLT’s were awesome, but I never made it. By dinner time I was sweating, shivering, had a terrible headache, and my boxer briefs were in the trash. The next 12-24 hours were rough to say the least. It would have been a good day to visit the doctor for a physical. The blood, urine, and stool sample would have been easy, I could have just handed over my underwear!

With all that being said, never again for me and the explosion. However, if your a “man’s man,” you’ve got to try this thing once! Just don’t make any big plans for the next day.

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Friday, February 13, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled

Tags: ,

The Bacon Explosion Effect

To my wife, her girlfriends, and my mom… it’s best for you all to skip this post and wait for the next one. Trust me.

The first time I laid eyes on the “bacon explosion” I’ll admit that I was impressed, intimidated, and intrigued. It looked disgusting, but I had to try it, if not for anything else than to say that I did. My partners at work and I decided we were going to try and tackle this monster, and we put “Texas Mike” in charge of the cooking.

After reviewing the recipe for the explosion, “TM” thought it should have some chopped up jalapenos added to the mixture. Being from Texas he enjoys the heat, and felt the jalapenos would “kick it up a notch.” OK, I’m in.

TM arrived to work on Monday morning carrying what appeared to be a 6 inch sub in aluminum foil. This mass of pig goes into your smoker or oven the size of a football, but comes out much smaller. Don’t be worried, there will be plenty for everyone! TM thought we should cut up the roll and have BLT sandwiches for lunch. No way, bacon and sausage are breakfast foods, cut me off a slice beeeaaatttcchhhh.

The first bite was heaven. The combination of the salty bacon and sausage with the sweetness of the BBQ sauce and the spiciness of the jalapenos formed an explosion of culinary heaven in my mouth. I proceeded to eat 3 slices for breakfast. Others who tried it in the AM were not as high on it as I was. The reviews were anywhere from disgusting to just OK. Others were waiting till later in the day to try it. At this point, other than a normal morning cincinnati traffic jam, I’m doing well.

At 1pm it was time for lunch. The office wanted Taco Bell and I jumped on board with an order of 2 crispy tacos. A small order for sure from Taco Bell, but I wasn’t real hungry, and besides that, I had big plans for my taco. Yep, on my 2 tacos I had 2 slices of bacon explosion and fire sauce! No one else dared to try this, in fact no one else is even trying the bacon explosion at all. But my creation was awesome, and there’s some bacon explosion left for the ultimate BLT for dinner!

Here is where the story takes a turn. I wish I could tell you that I fought the good fight, and the BLT’s were awesome, but I never made it. By dinner time I was sweating, shivering, had a terrible headache, and my boxer briefs were in the trash. The next 12-24 hours were rough to say the least. It would have been a good day to visit the doctor for a physical. The blood, urine, and stool sample would have been easy, I could have just handed over my underwear!

With all that being said, never again for me and the explosion. However, if your a “man’s man,” you’ve got to try this thing once! Just don’t make any big plans for the following day.

Cheers and Hail

View Comments - What do you think?

Posted by fatpickle    Date: Friday, February 13, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled

Tags: ,

Random Thoughts

After 72 hours with no Internet access, my brain is going in too many different directions to compose a singular post. So, I’m gonna roll with bullet point random thoughts.

  • A-Rod. A couple more thoughts from his interview. Did he just lay out by the pool (pink cheeks?) until Martha Stewart was finished setting up the interview room? I think we need to put “the church lady” in front of the baby grand piano and let’s get some fresh cut flowers in here. And what’s up with the A-Rod GNC references? Is he getting an endorsement deal with them? “I’m not sure if I tested positive for the Hydroxycut I got from GNC, or the Muscle Milk I got from GNC, or maybe it was that NEEDLE FULL OF STEROIDS I JAMMED IN MY ASS?
  • Orioles 2nd basemen with AIDS. What are the chances that 2 different Orioles 2nd basemen would get AIDS? Pretty good I guess. Robbie Alomar reportedly has the virus. Alan Wiggins (who played for the O’s in the 80′s) died of the disease in 1991. The rumor always was that Robbie spits and Brady swallows. Oh yeah, Mary Pierce needs to get tested.
  • For Pete’s sake. Please, can we now make Pete Rose eligible for the Hall of Fame? We have 15 years of cheating players that will one day grace the Hall, let’s get Pete in there. Sure he gambled on his own team to win, but he had more hits than anyone in the history of the game! And he did it with no PEDS, only hair plugs and a parlay on the Reds and the over. He’s Charlie freakin Hustle!
  • Brett Favre retires. Who cares?
  • Bill Parcels has an “expanded escape clause.” This guy has never finished any job he’s ever started, and never saw a grass that wasn’t greener. So if you’ve signed him to a new contract with an opt-out where he can still collect 12 million, I’d have a Plan B in effect.
  • It’s not what you know it’s who you know. Jim Zorn has filled his 2 coaching openings with people with ties to him. Chip Garber coached with Zorn at the U of Minnesota, he’s your new D-quality control coach. Scott Wachenheim coached with Zorn @ Utah State, he’s your new TE coach. I was pulling for Bill Khayat, he makes a mean mix-tape.

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled, MLB, Redskins

Tags: , ,

A-Lob

McNamee’s over there taking care of Clemens and Giambi, he’s got plenty left for us!

When you just got called out as a cheat and a liar, how do you put the spin on it? Well start by scheduling an interview with the 90 year old guy from ESPN who acts like everyone’s grandpa. Those questions were lobbed up to A-Rod like it was batting practice. Don’t hammer him into answering the fact that he cheated, or that he has lied to the public for several years. Let him lump his failed marriage and huge contract into the mix to try to seek extra sympothy.
Most people who have watched baseball and saw Barry Bonds break the all-time HR record all thought it was done thru cheating. And we all said “wait till A-Rod breaks it, then we’ll know the record is clean again.” Well guess what, we were wrong. Truth is, there is no player playing the game today that we could trust to have played their entire careers clean. MLB needs to release all the names of the players that tested positive, and acknowledge once and for all that we have an official steroid era. Then, move on.
The true all-time HR champion for now and maybe all time, is Hammerin Hank. Yep, the guy who in his 40′s was declining statistically, not hitting more home runs. The guy with the big beer gut, and his skills eroding him. Not 40lbs heavier in muscle and going thru a training regimen like Ivan Drago.

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Monday, February 9, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled, MLB

Tags: , , ,

Donovan Mcnabb Is A Tool

Donovan Mcnabb will never get it. Another Philly playoff loss has him pointing
the finger at everyone but himself. It’s always the Defense’s fault. Whether it
was the Superbowl loss to the Pats, the NFC Championship loss to the Rams, or
this years NFC Championship. Here’s what Mcnabb had to say about his teammates…

___________________________________________________________________


In the latest example of not-so-fearless leadership, McNabb hinted
- and not very subtly, either — that the Eagles’ defense was to blame for the
NFC championship loss in Arizona. McNabb was on WIP-AM (610) recently when he
was asked why the Birds could not score another touchdown after the Cardinals
took a 32-25 lead.”We were up, 25-24,” McNabb said. Then, in case people missed
it the first time, he repeated it for good measure.
“We were up, 25-24. [The
Cardinals] drove down 72 yards by running the ball - probably, what, eight
times? And it reminded me so much of [the NFC championship game in] St. Louis
where, coming back in that second half, they ran the ball nine times with
Marshall Faulk to keep our offense off the field. Because they were terrified of
us going back out and scoring more points.”

______________________________________________________


So let’s see, falling behind 24-6 had nothing to do with the loss. Said Quarterback going 13-23, 129yds, 0 TD’s, 1 INT, and 1 fumble played no roll in the deficit. And of course, how could you not expect a Defense to hold a 1 point lead with 11 minutes to go in the game.

This guy is a leader! Philly should give him the extension he wants right now and continue to hitch their wagon to this loser. One things for sure, if the wagon is like his passes, it’s going to be a bouncy ride!

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Thursday, February 5, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled, NFL

Tags: ,

Fat Boy On A Diet…Don’t Even Try It

I can hear myself getting fatter.

If you’re like me, football season brings great excitement, lots of trash talking, a few tears, and a couple extra lb’s. Yes, a football game goes hand in hand with chicken wings, pizza, crock pots, and beers (it’s just not the same without them.) And if you’re like me, you promise to start a diet as soon as the season is over. Well, I’ve finally found a reason to watch the Pro Bowl, one more super-bad blowout meal!

Before I start a diet I always need to have the perfect day of eating and drinking the day before. And this my friends, is a fine line. Sometimes I eat too much, taking away from my drinking. Sometimes I drink too much, and forget too eat enough. We’re dealing with some serious shit here! So I have to repeat the same patterns day after day until I find some even ground.

Super Bowl Sunday should have been the day to end my Chris Farley like bender. Chili was the meal of the day so I went to the grocery store to gather my items. But, rib eyes were on sale at a price I could not pass up. So what did I have on my chili? Hot sauce, crackers, and STEAK!

So I’m thinking that if I cook these 2 meals that I found Super Bowl week, the meal will be so bad that it’s either going to kill me, or force me to diet no matter what. Ladies and gentlemen, your Pro Bowl menu.

(I’m pretty sure the bacon isn’t the only thing exploding!)

Twinkie Stadium

Keep me in your thoughts.

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled

Tags: , ,

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